The Extremely Pregnant Dark Elf That Somehow Became Internet Famous For All The Wrong Reasons!
Armed with the experience of being pregnant through literally every major historical event and absolutely zero understanding of smartphones, social media, or why everyone keeps staring at glowing rectangles, this immortal dark elf stumbles into the bewildering world of 2024. She has good intentions—maybe she can help some humans with their pregnancy problems, since she's got quite a bit of experience to share.
What could possibly go wrong?
Sometimes the most authentic content comes from someone who's been pregnant longer than human civilization has existed. Even when that authenticity leads to some very unexpected consequences.
A comedy about 3,000 years of pregnancy wisdom meeting modern chaos, featuring the world's most confused accidental celebrity.
Volumes
Volume 1
Available NowFollow Lyria's first chaotic steps back into civilization after 3,000 years of pregnancy, from discovering smartphones to accidentally becoming the internet's most confused pregnancy influencer.
Read NowAbout Lyria
Lyria
Background
Ancient dark elf who's been magically stuck at 9 months pregnant for over 3,000 years due to a spell gone wrong. After centuries of hermit life in a cabin, she discovered modern internet culture and accidentally became the world's most chaotic pregnancy influencer through a series of hilarious misunderstandings.
Personality
Deadpan delivery with sharp wit—constantly making self-aware commentary about the absurdity of her situation. Projects ancient wisdom while being genuinely confused by modern technology. Accidentally hilarious and surprisingly caring, despite her dry humor and tendency to casually reference being present during major historical events.
Unique Condition
Permanent Pregnancy: Magically frozen at peak pregnancy for millennia after attempting to speed up the process. Has all the physical challenges (back pain, can't bend over, swollen feet) but enhanced magical abilities from sustained magical energy. The baby is sustained by magic—a situation other supernaturals consider her "fucked but adapted."
Goals & Dreams
- Figure out this "internet" thing humans are obsessed with
- Help modern pregnant women with her 3,000 years of experience
- Navigate the influencer economy without going insane
- Decide if she actually wants to reverse the spell anymore
- Build genuine connections in the modern world
Likes & Dislikes
Internet Culture Fun Facts
- Thinks "going viral" sounds like a disease
- Attempts to pay for things with historical artifacts worth millions
- Calls smartphones "magic rectangles"
- Accidentally became a top OnlyFans creator through pure innocence
- Has a group chat with other supernatural beings called "Help Lyria Navigate 2025"
- Once tried to tip a barista with what turned out to be a lost Shakespeare manuscript